More Carterisms And Wyatt Tales As Compiled On Facebook

"Mama, I want a lot of coffee this morning. I'm three years old now." - Carter (indeed three years old and known for "killing" the last sip of coffee in the cup.)

Wyatt is so polite that anytime he hears a song end, he applauds and shouts "yay!". The other morning he woke up, looked around at his family around him and shouted "yay!".

Carter on making a cake with mama: "I washed my hands and then I licked them and mama shouted "nein!" and we washed them again. Then I put my shoes on the counter and mama yelled "nein" and she cleaned the counter and then we... made a cake and mama said "gut gemacht, Carter!".

Wyatt wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes, crawls over, and gives Rob a hug. So sweet.

Carter overheard while holding his guitar: "And for my next song, I'll be singing without clothes on."

Carter put his foot up near Wyatt's face. Wyatt growled, lunged, and bit it. I think letting Willow babysit has been a bad idea.

Carter handing Wyatt a pointy toy: Here Wyatt, put that in your eye and see if it hurts."

We lost our horse of 26 years recently. Carter wanted to talk about it one night. He told me, "Concerto died. His batteries died".

Wyatt comes to nurse at my work. Sometimes I wait for him in the parking lot and as the truck pulls up I can see him mouthing "mama" through the window. So cute!

I gave Carter a funky utensil with his lunch....Carter: It's a fork! No, it's a spoon! Hey! Wait a minute, it's a SPORK!

Wyatt was nursing and Carter wanted to nurse. Wyatt went to change sides and Carter yelled, "hey Wyatt, that's not your boob, that's my boob.

While making biscotti with Carter ‎"Honey, please don't hold your penis and then touch the cookie dough" flew out of my mouth.

Carter was a complete mess and for about two hours one night......how can a teeny bit of congestion ruin EVERYONE's night? I actually told him at 3am that if his feet touched me one more time I was going to scream. His response? "Don't wake up Wyatt."

Wyatt has about 8 signs now.....light, dog, wind, fan, nurse, cat, more, all finished.

Carter was playing his electric guitar. Mama: Can you sing "Alle meine Entchen"?. Carter thinks...."better go get my other guitar, this one is for singing Stevie Wonder".

Carter: ‎"Papa, papa! Help! Help! I pee-peed on mama's shoes!" And that's how we roll on a Saturday night.

Mama: Carter, what are you doing? Carter: Looking at my belly button. I want buttons on my boobs too. (At least he didn't say shiny stars with tassels.....I LOVE this kid!)

Wyatt started crawling on Saturday. On Monday Carter was overheard saying, "Wyatt go back and sit on your blanket."

Carter: Wanna get a poop bag and pick up dog poop? Mama: No, buddy, it's too late. Carter: Wanna pick it up now! Mama: No bud. We will pick it up tomorrow. Carter: Now? Mama: No! Carter: But it's in the living room. Mama (banging head against wall!) trudges off to get a poop bag.

Wyatt's favorite foods in order of preference: Ice cream, cat kibble, lollipop, green beans, apple sauce, watermelon, and peach. The first three were introduced by big brother when mama blinked her eyes.

Carter now has an alter-ego named "Denny". Denny does things like spit on the counter and pull Wyatt's hair. Yesterday while playing I heard a little voice say, "Denny, don't pop Carter's brother's head. Carter's mama will get mad and say 'no popping Wyatt's head!' " It's getting very confusing at our house!

Carter saw a cigarette butt. "That's a cigarette. It's bad. Really bad. Lollipops are good. Really good." Early propaganda teachings going good. Really good.

Carter: Mama, get me a stick. Mama: Why do you need a stick? Carter: To get the quinoa out of my nose.

Tofu is a big hit with Wyatt. Everytime he takes a bite he says "mmmmm". Such a good little vegetarian!

Playing the "Where's Wyatt" game with, well appropriately, Wyatt. I sign and say "where's Wyatt" and he drops down and hides his head on the floor.

I went outside to let the babysitter head home and found my son outside under a tree sitting in a small bucket of water naked as a jaybird singing "head shoulders knees and toes". I'm sure she's going to start requesting hazardous duty pay!

Baby led weaning day two. Bananas: Squishy = Look of horror. Peaches: Tart = Look of Fear. Hard salt-free pretzel: Hmmm, maybe, maybe....no, look of horror and fear. Screaming, screaming, real tears.

Carter looking out the window: "Stop licking your butt Willow. Ugh these dogs!" At least he doesn't hear the expletives I mumble when uttering my dog-butt-licking-mantra!

Carter's new thing is to run around saying in all seriousness, "mama, smell my finger". You never have any idea where that finger has been. Sometimes it's soapy, sometimes there's candle wax on it.....tonight he did it whilst on the toilet. It's genetic. I'm speechless.

Wyatt's first experience with food: Wyatt had his first taste of solids at 8 1/2 months....he was horrified and started frantically "signing" nurse, as if that tiny amount of avocado that he now had smeared all over the high chair was the last meal he'd ever have. Poor guy. He's sleeping now. Had to sleep off the stress.

I heard Carter tell Wyatt his hair was sticking up.....but didn't think much of it until I heard the dog bowl of water being dumped on Wyatt's head. In the kitchen. On the floor I just cleaned. Wyatt's hair isn't sticking up anymore.

Came in the kitchen to find Wyatt in the swing wearing 5 band-aids on his legs and a number of wet globs of toilet paper on his head. "Now he feels better....now we can go outside and play." Awwwww, brotherly love.

A little taste of our life: Vomit on bed? Check. Baby poop? Check? Wet tea grounds from a tea pot that Carter found and dumped on Wyatt? Check. Dog ate all the cat poop during this drama? Check. Mama eating cookies? Check. (I'm an emotional eater....what of it?)

More of our life: Woke up to dog diarrhea on the hardwood floor in the family room, dog farts in the office, and a rabbit (rest in peace) next to the cat in bed with ME this morning! Wow, do I need a drink.....definitely a bagel and cream cheese is in order this a.m.

Carter caught literally with his hand in the cookie jar: I'm having another one. That makes two. That's not a lot. I won't get sick. (How can you argue with that logic?)

Carter and Willow in the kitchen, Carter overheard saying: "Stop licking my floor Willow. Ugh, this dog!" What can I say? He cares as much about cleanliness as I do!

Hey baby that I sleep with. Talking and singing at 4:30 in the morning won't get me out of bed....the repeated nose honking however will. I am not a clown, please don't do that again!

Carter: Mama's gotta go to work? Me: Yeah, buddy I do. Carter: Mama's gotta take her boobs with her to work? Me: Yeah. Should I leave them here? Carter. Yeah (looking sad).

Took a nice warm bath to end my mother's day and it was lovely....til a naked 2 year old joined me, smiled and said "happy mother's day, mama" and tooted til bubbles rose to the surface. And we howled with laughter.

If I pull Wyatt's head off, he will cry. And if I eat grandma, mama will cry.

Scene: Carter with t-shirt and bib, no pants, holding his penis. Carter: Weedwhacker? Grandma:Is that what he calls his penis? Me: NO! He wants to know where the weedwhacker is!

Me: Carter? What are you doing? Carter: Playing guitar on Wyatt's penis...it's a really tiny guitar! (Wow, boys really are born different!)

‎"Papa didn't get to nurse as a baby, oh no! We need to get him a mama, build him a little boob and put milk in it" - Carter, upon discovering that his papa didn't nurse. (He likes to ask people now who they have nursed and if they have nursed.)

Excerpt from our life: Me:Did you find the mouse in the kitchen? Rob:Yup. Me:Where is it? Rob: In the living room. Me: Alive? Rob: Nooooo, I threw a dead mouse in the living room. (In my defense.....he's the kind of guy who would throw a dead mouse in the living room.)

Such a bad mama

I cannot believe it has been six months since I have last written on here. It's official. I am a bad mama. My boys are now one and three years old....as of last month. We celebrated with an old fashioned carnival. We had pony rides, a petting zoo, homemade games, prizes, a balloon twister, popcorn, pretzels, and the cutest cupcakes EVER. Everyone said so. Well, one person did, so that pretty much counts as everyone.

Wyatt has been crawling since August 8th and he is now able to steal every toy his brother has, wants, is thinking about playing with, just got done playing with, might once upon a time play with again....and it doesn't go over well. Just this morning, Wyatt was sitting on the kitchen floor eating HIS bowl of O's. Carter tackled Wyatt by the shoulders and threw him on the ground all the while yelling those are MY O's. Ahh, brotherly love.

Rob and I are always in awe at how smart Carter is. He's a bright kiddo, even those not related to him will tell you so. We're a little worried about Wyatt. At this point he says "mama" and roars like a bear on command. And he signs "dog" when he sees a dog and when he sees me and when he sees grandma. We also just realized that we never talk about his body parts. He doesn't even know he has a nose yet because we haven't pointed that out to him. We were really talking a lot about it this morning, you know, trying to play catch up. Rob thought he just about had the whole "point to your nose" thing down....but then I let him fall off the bed and we haven't seen progress since. Rob thinks the fall knocked all of the sense out of him.

Maybe I ought to go to bed early tonight so that I can have energy for our all day body part cram session tomorrow. The kid's got to know where his nose is by next week at least.